


The One Where Taako Threatens Angus' Boyfriend

by lethallen



Series: swallowed in the sea [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: M/M, but there's also some sweet taakitz stuff at the end bc i can't resist, rated t for swears and mentions of sexy times, this is mostly just taako and kit chatting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 00:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14320152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lethallen/pseuds/lethallen
Summary: Taako and Angus' boyfriend, Kit, chat. It's only mildly terrifying.





	The One Where Taako Threatens Angus' Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all were so nice about my last fic that I decided to post another one with Kit! Also, I might change the way these are titled, but right now I'm feeling that level of flippancy.
> 
> I would recommend reading the fic that came before this in the "swallowed in the sea" series, "The One Where Magnus Tries to Fight Angus' Boyfriend", because it introduces Kit a little more.

This little get-together had been Angus’ idea, a small party to celebrate the warm weather. Kravitz and Taako had a lovely backyard, after all, with a garden the envy of all their neighbors. It was the perfect place to host. Magnus, Merle, and Lucretia had come, and Angus had, unsurprisingly, tugged Kit along. Taako had gone back inside to get some refreshments, and had, apparently, been followed.

“You don’t like me very much, do you?”

Taako turned to see Kit standing in the doorway. His hair was twitching back and forth, a little less steady than usual, which was a sure sign he was nervous. However, his expression was even, more inquisitive than anything. Taako was, admittedly, impressed that he was even bold enough to confront him about this.

“You know, ‘hello’ is a standard greeting in most cultures. Didn’t you learn any manners in that nunnery of yours?”

“Are you, of all people, going to give me a lesson on pleasantries?” Maybe it should have sounded hostile, but Kit was so matter-of-fact, with a slight edge of humor, that it only made Taako chuckle. If there was one thing to be said about this kid, it was that he didn’t fuck around. Yeah, he knew how to not be a total asshole, but he also didn’t skirt the more uncomfortable topics.

“Okay, kitten, I’ll play.” He watched Kit bristle a little at the nickname, and he grinned. “What makes you think I don’t like you?”

Kit straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest and holding eye contact with Taako. It was another point in his favor, even if part of Taako thought the kid should have shown him some level of reverence. He _had_ saved the fucking world, after all.

Still, Kit kind of reminded Taako of himself when he was younger. Less well-dressed, of course, and with a much less sparkling personality, but if Taako held everyone to the bar of his own personal achievement, he’d spend his life being disappointed.

“You pretty much ignore my presence whenever I’m around. It’d be one thing if you were insulting me, because you do that with everyone. But the ignoring, that’s purposeful.” He stuck his chin up defiantly, still holding eye contact. “I normally wouldn’t care, because I recognize that not everyone is going to like me, but it… it upsets Angus, and I don’t like seeing him upset. So I figured we should discuss it.”

Taako regarded the kid appraisingly, leaning against the wall and crossing his arms over his chest. What he said was true, of course; after their initial meeting at Candlenights, Taako had mostly ignored Kit whenever he was around. He’d say hello, and that would be it. Candlenights was about a month ago, and since then, pretty much everyone had warmed up to Kit. Despite his slightly brusque personality, he actually was a good dude and knew at least a little bit about everything, so he could hold a conversation with anyone. It was easy to see why Angus was so enamored with him; he was intelligent and strong, but he seemed to shift into a sort of affectionate tenderness whenever he was talking to Angus.

The fact, of course, that Angus was enamored was _painfully_ obvious. He looked at Kit like the guy held all the fucking knowledge of the universe, delighted in him like he was one of the mysteries Angus loved solving. Comfortingly, though, Kit looked at him the same way. They were two kids who were in love, and it was nice to see. Taako was happy that Angus was happy. That much was incontestable.  

It was a long time before Taako said anything, and Kit refused to fill the silence, so they just stood there. Eventually, though, Taako stood up straight again and dropped his arms. “You’re right. I have ignored you. But you’re fine, my dude. I’ve got no beef with you.”

With that, he turned around going back to continue organizing his spice rack. He should have known that that wouldn’t be enough to appease Kit, but still, he sighed when the boy said, “What, that’s all you’re going to say? You can’t at least tell me _why_ you’ve been ignoring me?”

“Listen, kitten,” he said, not looking back at Kit as he continued organizing. He could have used magic, but he wanted to have something to focus on other than this conversation. “Ango, he’s like… You know that thing where two people bump uglies and one of them grows another, smaller person and then that smaller person is born and they raise that smaller person? Angus is like that smaller person to me.”

Kit’s brow furrowed as he looked at Taako incredulously. “You mean you think of Angus as your kid?”

Taako turned around, expression horrified. “Who the fuck said _that_? _I_ didn’t fucking say that, you goddamn weirdo.” He shook his head before turning back around. “I’m just _saying_ that I’ve known him a long time, and that I feel a… certain level of responsibility for the fucking goober. And maybe I found it _odd_ , a little _strange_ , that this chatty little nerd who tells me everything, including what he eats for breakfast every goddamn morning, was suddenly very tight-lipped for, uh, _three entire fucking months_ about the boy he’s been macking on. Makes me a little suspicious about the boy, if we’re being honest.”

Kit opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again. Though Taako had tried to keep his tone light, he had managed to let slip the way he actually felt as hurt ebbed in towards the end. There was a small stretch of silence again before Kit found the words to respond.

“Angus was nervous about introducing me. Your family is… well, intimidatingly close-knit, and he was scared that we wouldn’t get along. I never wanted to push him, so I let him make the decisions on his own terms. I’m not blaming him,” Kit added quickly, wanting to make that abundantly clear, “because it’s not something that’s blame-worthy. It just was what it was. He wasn’t ready, and I wasn’t going to force him to introduce me or tell you all about me.”

Taako sucked in a deep breath before finally turning Kit. “I’m aware,” he replied flatly. “I mean, that _is_ what he told me. But kitten, the real estate on Taako’s Island of Trust is very limited. The people who live there fucking _earned_ it, and you have yet to do so.”

It was mildly surprising to Taako when Kit nodded without a second thought. “I understand that,” he replied, and, further surprising Taako, he believed the kid. From what Angus said, Kit had been through some shit, so maybe it wasn’t that surprising he understood where Taako was coming from.

“Good. So keep proving yourself, and maybe you’ll earn a nice plot of land. Beach front, even, if you play your cards right. But while I have you here…” Taako took a step forward, and Kit was struck with the near-undeniable urge to take one back. He’d never seen that expression on Taako before, one so… menacing. It was easy to forget that Taako was one of the most powerful wizards of all time when he was so often flippant and borderline goofy, but right now, Kit had never been more aware. “If you hurt Angus, I will turn you into an ant, crush you under my fabulous Fantasy Louboutins, and have my hubby cart your soul off to the deepest, darkest pits of the astral plane. You feel me, kitten?”

“Uh. Yes,” he replied, and the fear in his eyes felt incredibly satisfying to Taako, who turned away again.

“Good. Now run on back to dear Ango. I know you two can’t bear to be apart for longer than three and a half minutes.”

Kit paused, like he was going to say something more, before turning on his heel and practically running into Kravitz. “Oh, uh, sorry,” he mumbled quickly, before hurrying back outside. Kravitz watched him go before his gaze shifted to Taako, trying to look disapproving but mostly just looking amused.

“I thought we were done threatening teenagers, honey,” he said, making his way to Taako and hugging him from behind.

Taako snickered, letting his hands rest on Kravitz’s where they rested on his lower stomach. “Last time, promise.” Kravitz let out a noise of disbelief, and Taako laughed again. “Well, anyway, he deserved it.”

“Oh, please. He’s complete mush for Angus, and you know it. That kid would rather saw his own legs off than do anything to hurt our boy.”

Taako sighed. “Mm, maybe. But I wasn’t about to take any chances.” Giving a small shake of his head and turning in Kravitz’s arms, Taako reached up to wrap his arms around his husband’s neck. The expression on his face was splendidly mischievous. “Hey, what do you say we ditch these losers and have our own party upstairs?”

The question was accompanied with a wiggle of eyebrows that made Kravitz laugh. “We can’t do this _every_ time we have people over, Taako.”

“That’s not a no,” Taako responded in a sing-song voice, disentangling himself from Kravitz until they were just holding hands. He started backing up towards the stairs, tugging on Kravitz’s hand. “C’mon, we don’t want to get old and boring.”

“Taako, I’m pretty sure you still have a good 400 years left before anyone could call you old,” Kravitz pointed out, but, again, didn’t say no. Instead, he followed dutifully, grinning all the way.


End file.
